You are right, this IS why we can’t have nice things. (At least, not forever.) Because all things are impermanent. Because what we desire is usually a reflection of egoic need, which doesn’t make it wrong, but the ego is flighty and demanding. I could assume that you only saw her at her best since you were limited by distance. Some people are unable to handle things getting “real” and avoid being seen in a less-than-spectacular light. It is easy to fall in love with the best of someone. It is a heartbreaking loss to lose that love for any reason. It takes courage to love again without cynicism. I can relate to your whole journey. Thank you for your vulnerability and bravery. I hope you can still feel the joy and the pain heals quickly.